Lancashire Chief Constable orders new carpet for headquarters

The Chief Constable of Lancashire police has been alleged to have placed an order for new carpets for the Lancashire police Headquarters in Preston.

He also agreed to carpet all non carpeted areas in addition to replacing the existing carpets. Reports indicate that he intends to carpet the gymnasium which is normally a wooden floor.

When asked for comment, the Chief Constable replied;

We have been inundated with complaints since I took office and I felt we needed to improve our current system for brushing the complaints under the carpet.

New Health and Safety policies have been introduced and due to the number of complaints alread stored under the existing carpets, the floors have become uneaven and causing trip hazards for our officers.

I decided that it would be in the public interest to spend their money on new comfort carpeting which will absorb a higher volume of complaints and by expanding the carpetted areas, we are hoping to create more storage for future complaits.

When asked if it was true about carpeting the public areas of Preston Town Centre, the Chief responded;

Although this has been a consideration for some time, we do feel that carpetting a town centre may be excessive and open to public scrutiny so we beleive the best way forward is to utilise all areas within the police grounds to avoid those awkward questions.

When asked if it would be better to investigate to complaints correctly, the Chief Constable laughed and said, ‘no comment’.

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